Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Whoohoo!!

The last two weeks have been so great! Pretty much how I feel about it would be how I felt yesterday morning. I was driving on the empty streets in the morning with a grin on my face as the snow was falling and everything was so pretty and covered in white. I pulled into the parking lot next to our building at work, got out, and seeing a coworker walking in as well, yelled out "whooohooo!" I literally heard an echo and thought the whole of downtown must have heard. Ah!
***
I've switched my schedule and last week, just the thought of working a day less, I felt lighter and more free. Less stress already! So this week has been amazing!! My first part time week. I've had two jobs at once before, and I've worked after nine hour school days, and I've worked 12 hours shifts. So now, I'm cutting back. While I can.
***
I guess it just feels good that a lot of the things I think about get confirmed or reassured by something I read, or hear in a sermon or lecture. It comforts me that God is working and through those reasurances I have peace that maybe some things I've been doing are on the right track. It feels likes it's been happening a lot. I think or talk about something and it comes up in something else or in another conversation right after...
***
Last Sunday, a couple friends and I ended up rehearsing after morning service. The church was empty and our pianist's husband turned on the microphones for us and later recorded and played it back. And even though all we did was practice it felt good to sing. I am amazed at how many talented people I know. Singers, musicians, and everything else...I feel blessed to be able to sing myself once in awhile. So. I didn't even notice that an hour later, I hadn't even felt the usual hunger I feel around that time after church. (And normally that's the first thing I want to do, eat.)
***
This last Monday when we got the first big snowfall, I drove across town to the north side early in the morning for an appointment. I loved how everybody drove so slow. Under 25 miles per hour! I never drive the speed limit so I just enjoyed how I couldn't rush, I couldn't speed. Maybe I'm the only weird driver who is still happy and smiling when the driving conditions are so bad. I know it's strange. I drove back downtown to our teacher training at work. It's pretty cool. I was in elementary education, in college, when I left to become a hairdresser. So I thought I was going to be a teacher. Now, I can still "teach" without officially being a teacher. And on a subject I actually enjoy. And a lot more freedom than a classroom setting. I actually like telling tricks of the trade or techniques I think are awesome, to those that maybe haven't used them before or haven't put into practice yet. It's just a different side to the hairdressing business. I'm getting all excited and I haven't even done too much with that yet. We even had to do an impromptu ten minute presentation! A little bit of everything...The same night, at bible study, only about a hundred ladies showed up. It was a smaller group but I played the songs that they sing and it felt giddy, maybe just on my part, but everything was shortened up and we made it out before it hit 8:30. Driving back, it was amazing how everybody cleared out of the streets. Literally, at that time of night, I was the only driver for a big stretch of my drive. Anyway, for a first snowfall day, that was a lot of driving all over town!
***
Thanksgiving day was Great! First of all, the kitchen we have is way too small and way too cluttered. I don't know about anyone else, but when the work space is a mess, I get distracted and it becomes hard to do anything. Thank goodness we have a door to the kitchen. My sister had her french music playing and I made french toast. By the way, I'm hooked on homemade french toast lately! Just think what perfect food it is. We cooked (mostly my sister) and got everything ready. I guess we make what we like and I made a layered salad. It takes a while to make only because you have to boil, cool, dice, layer. My sister is an amazing cook. I always tell people she can create something out of nothing.
So, I've never been out of the house on thanksgiving day. But. My favorite salad needs beets and somehow we overlooked the fact that we didn't have any. So I drove out in search of beets. The first three closest stores were too small to carry whole canned beets. One of the clerks really tried helping me from the counter. "Yes we have beans. Third shelf over. Down, down, over right," in her accent. I stare at the space and there are no beets. She runs over. "Here, here are beans." I wanted to laugh but she was trying to be so helpful. I ended up going farther to Safeway which thankfully, the stores were open in the morning. I was actually happy to be out. There were so many last minute shoppers. I've never been in a busier grocery store before! People also stared. I wondered if it was my haircolor or the grin on my face. Why do I have to smile so much?! Happy with my beets and my caramel apple spice.
***
I am always amazed at how great I can be feeling until someone does or says something that takes me aback and kind of shocks me. And I try to act normal. I try to pretend it doesn't affect me. But it does. It's that first reaction that I can't hide. It's just that things people say or do sometimes throw me off and what I feel I can't help but feel the first few moments. I've already decided that I can only take charge of myself. What I allow to settle in my heart or mind. What I allow to shape or change me. But sometimes it's just hurt, and until I realize people don't always intend what they do or don't realize how it affects others, those first initial feelings can be breaking. I guess I have to be a big girl and brush it off. Just enjoy life and not let negativity, what other's think or do affect me.
***
I am always surrounded by a lot of people. A lot of talking, conversations, just background noise or sound. Everywhere I go. Even at home. And after a long week of so many different things, so so many different people and activities, I love to sit down and not hear anything. So I truly love when the house is empty and it's super quiet. It's as if everything melts away and there is no chaos for a couple of hours. No need to do anything for anybody, to talk or listen. Today I curled up in the couch and read a whole book. In fact a book on balance, which I think and talk on that subject a lot. Since it wasn't my book, I just jotted down things in a little notebook that I relate to or do, or work on, in myself. Reflected and thought for some time. For some reason, it also made me think of certain people I know. Anyway, I thought it was a good read and a perfect ending to the week.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Chop Chop

I'm a hairdresser so I might as well write about hairdressing. Right? One of my pet peeves is when people think, 'oh, she's a hairdresser, so I'll talk about hair with her. Oh, she's a christian, I will talk about religion and christianity with her'. But really? Do I really want to talk about hair apart from work? No. And I can talk about faith a lot, in fact I'm passionate about that, but if that's the means of 'talking to her' then it becomes annoying. (If that makes sense).
But this is about hair nevertheless...
I'm pretty sure every hairdresser has a favorite client. Or clients. Well, my favorite client doesn't even pay, so I don't know if I can even call him a client. He's my little sixteen year old brother. Since I cut his hair in my bathroom, and he can't really schedule an official appointment, his asking for a haircut starts weeks ahead of time. He shows up in obscure times, and asks at the end of random conversations. And I mean constantly, everyday. I know not to promise because I've done it before, came home late, and here he is standing at my door. So coming midnight, I plug in my ipod and cut away. By the way, he is very particular and knows terms like, "what is thinning out" or "texturizing". Makes me laugh. Anyway, I like cutting his hair because we joke and laugh more than I actually cut hair. He jumps up to check if I'm doing it right and looks in the mirror in the middle of cutting. And he doesn't know this, but I practice using my left hand with the trimmers, and all my other nifty ninja cutting skills on him. If I make a mistake, it was a free haircut and in the odd hours of the day (or night) anyway! Eeeeh.

***
Anyway. We hairdressers have a bunch of different combs of different lengths and sizes. But I love using my one, long board cutting comb. If it's out of place I have to hunt it down. Also, lately, I've discovered how amazing seven inch shears are. I bought them so long ago and haven't used them until now! I tried them and thought for sure I'd chop my nuckle off! Or cut out too much hair, or nip the actual client. And when you've got the speedy thing going already, it's hard to slow down in those areas and fumble with new tools. I just had to start using them, slowly, and get used to the difference in depth perception than the one I'm used to. They cut deep. So. I like how I can cut into the length of the hair and soften the edges in a very clean way. The weight and length of the blades feel good in the hand and are interesting to work with. I love the swoosh of it as the blade comes down. It's a completely different feel than that of the shears I use day in and out. I can be a bit nerdy about tools of the trade. But even combs and scissors are interesting if you're a hairdresser.
***
The good times are when I'm in the zone. Funny sounding but it's true. There are moments you don't feel eyes watching, or hear other's conversations, or get distracted by every person that comes through the door. Have you ever had where you are waiting for someone to come and every person that walks throught the door you think is the one you're waiting for? Oh, it can be very distracting! And I am very aware of everything that goes around me at all times yet can still be very involved with the hair and client. It works for me. Being in the zone though is even better, because then nothing's affecting me in any way. So I just do the little dance, my motions. I love when everything is fluid. Of course there are days when I feel like if I catch that cord with my foot one more time, I will fall flat on my face. And product wants to fall out, and foils won't seperate, etc...I've always thought no matter what you're doing, you do it like someone's watching. Because really at one angle or another, someone is watching. And everyperson does have their 'trademark'. Weather it's their motions, their stance, their work style...That's how it sets each hairdresser apart.
I do have super ninja skills though. I give credit to my profession. Just a couple Sundays ago at a wedding, I asked my older younger brother to pass me a dessert that is in the shape of a walnut filled with caramelized condensed milk. Well this is my family, and how he passed it to me was by tossing it to me across the table. I of course caught it with my left hand in between the first and middle fingers! Cool, huh?! I thought so.
(once again, i thought i was going to write about one thing and it ended up going off my topic. the usual)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Big Fat Snowflakes

The days get dark so fast. I like it though, when the dark settles in, the downtown trees light up and sparkle. And store windows and restaurants shine bright, and people's homes glow from within. It makes me want to take a walk and peer in.
***
I should probably stop telling people that I want lots of snow though, 'cause some of them start looking at me like I'm the bad one for wishing it so! I want it just to snow like two years ago in winter of 2008/2009. So that the snowflakes would be big, fat and heavy, and when they hit your eyeball straight on as you walk against the snowfall, you could actually feel it. Soft and fluffy. I am looking forward to bundling up. Hats, scarfs, warm boots! And I know lots of snow can cause problems. People get stuck, car accidents happen, electricity shuts down, people fall on ice.
But the nice thing is, when that happens, nice things happen too. The nice, helpful side of people comes out.
I remember how I was stuck on the corner of my block and my car wouldn't budge forward or back, and a neighbor from half a block away came to my rescue. I hadn't even asked! I watched him push my car out, fall flat on his face, clear out the snow, and free my car so I could go to work. I appreciated him so much and probably said thank you way too many times not knowing how to really show my gratitude and feeling so sorry for him for struggling so hard to help me!
I've also had to walk to work. It took me an hour. The buses weren't running. My car couldn't be driven out of the street. So I walked. I wouldn't have minded that so much, except that by the time I made it to work, I thought my legs above my knee were frozen and would fall off. It hurt so bad. I just didn't realize it would be so cold or such a long walk!
To tell you the truth, I don't mind if businesses shut down for a day, or electricity doesn't work. It will all come back the next day anyway. I think it just forces people slow down, light some candles and a fireplace if there is one, and maybe pause for a little.(Others, sadly, to panic.)


I just like winter to be the real thing! Yes, I'm not a fan of slush, and icy roads, or when it all gets black and ugly. I know how it feels to have bad roads. I've had bad driving conditions cause accidents. I know how it feels to have no traction, no stopping power, and no control of the car. Just last year, the night we had a thick sheet of ice for a road, I slammed head on, full force into a curb because there was nothing else I could do. Thankfully not into people, or other cars! So no, I don't want accidents or people getting hurt or anything else of that sort...
But for the most part it's magically beautiful. I remember standing at work looking out of our big windows. The sunlight was super bright, the air outside so cold, and all of a sudden it looked like magic dust, ice particles glistening like crystals in the air. I could stand and stare for a long time.
I know, I know. All the leaves havn't fallen yet. It's just, waiting for the first snowfall is so fun! The first time everything gets covered in a sheet of white...
***
I'm a dreamer. (It's those things that are instilled in me, who I am. Not things others want for me. Not because everyone else is doing those things. And what I do know, is that my dreams do come to reality, only in a timing I don't understand quite yet.) I know my imagination most of the time is way too big. But I can't help it. The thing I have done about it, is learned to not expect things how I would imagine them or how I would have done them. I've managed to expect less and be pleasantly surprised when it exceeds my expectations. Perfectionism isn't actually a positive characteristic. I think. I've had to learn not to be hard on myself. I've had to accept differences. Isn't that where the beauty lies? Where everyone does things differently. Thinks and sees differently. I've learned to take those other qualities of people who are laid back, easy going, into appreciation and to utilize it in my life! So when I can let things go, not care so much, and accept failures, it feels good. In myself, and others.
I've always thought that moderation and balance in everything, in life, is a key factor. Being too uptight, or being way careless would be far off. Working all the time or never just wouldn't work. Finding a middle ground is the ideal I will strive for in my life.
Why I am saying this? Kind of like a thank you to some people in my life that have shown me and influenced me. How amazing how we can learn and grow from each other in human relationships. You never know where life will go...People will come and go in my life, but a little of each person stays.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
I appreciate this verse a lot more now.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Ugly

No, not you. I am talking about my own personal self here.

Sometimes I get caught up in thinking, 'Oh, I never think that way!' 'I never react or feel that way!'
Maybe not in certain situations, but come a different circumstance of some sort and then it truly shows who I am. I am shown, that there is ugliness that needs to be worked on. I am no better than the person next to me at any given point. So even if I see someone and tell myself, "I don't do that," I can think that and believe it, but God will show me, there is always something to work on, even if only in a different situation. I've just learned, that looking into someone else's darkness with judgemental eyes, I will sooner or later find myself in that same position with maybe that same darkness. I might think that person did that and that, only to realize I did too, to someone else. Even if it was unknowingly or unwillingly. Selfrightousness is just not a way to go. And I realize I can only look at myself and only change myself. 'Pointing fingers' is easy. Spotting other's faults is way too easy. Looking at oneself. Seeing my own dirt, admitting I have the same faults, and fixing it. That is actually hard.

"...Cause we're all guilty of the same things. We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through...." from the song, Forgiven.