Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Ugly

No, not you. I am talking about my own personal self here.

Sometimes I get caught up in thinking, 'Oh, I never think that way!' 'I never react or feel that way!'
Maybe not in certain situations, but come a different circumstance of some sort and then it truly shows who I am. I am shown, that there is ugliness that needs to be worked on. I am no better than the person next to me at any given point. So even if I see someone and tell myself, "I don't do that," I can think that and believe it, but God will show me, there is always something to work on, even if only in a different situation. I've just learned, that looking into someone else's darkness with judgemental eyes, I will sooner or later find myself in that same position with maybe that same darkness. I might think that person did that and that, only to realize I did too, to someone else. Even if it was unknowingly or unwillingly. Selfrightousness is just not a way to go. And I realize I can only look at myself and only change myself. 'Pointing fingers' is easy. Spotting other's faults is way too easy. Looking at oneself. Seeing my own dirt, admitting I have the same faults, and fixing it. That is actually hard.

"...Cause we're all guilty of the same things. We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through...." from the song, Forgiven.