Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Whoohoo!!

The last two weeks have been so great! Pretty much how I feel about it would be how I felt yesterday morning. I was driving on the empty streets in the morning with a grin on my face as the snow was falling and everything was so pretty and covered in white. I pulled into the parking lot next to our building at work, got out, and seeing a coworker walking in as well, yelled out "whooohooo!" I literally heard an echo and thought the whole of downtown must have heard. Ah!
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I've switched my schedule and last week, just the thought of working a day less, I felt lighter and more free. Less stress already! So this week has been amazing!! My first part time week. I've had two jobs at once before, and I've worked after nine hour school days, and I've worked 12 hours shifts. So now, I'm cutting back. While I can.
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I guess it just feels good that a lot of the things I think about get confirmed or reassured by something I read, or hear in a sermon or lecture. It comforts me that God is working and through those reasurances I have peace that maybe some things I've been doing are on the right track. It feels likes it's been happening a lot. I think or talk about something and it comes up in something else or in another conversation right after...
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Last Sunday, a couple friends and I ended up rehearsing after morning service. The church was empty and our pianist's husband turned on the microphones for us and later recorded and played it back. And even though all we did was practice it felt good to sing. I am amazed at how many talented people I know. Singers, musicians, and everything else...I feel blessed to be able to sing myself once in awhile. So. I didn't even notice that an hour later, I hadn't even felt the usual hunger I feel around that time after church. (And normally that's the first thing I want to do, eat.)
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This last Monday when we got the first big snowfall, I drove across town to the north side early in the morning for an appointment. I loved how everybody drove so slow. Under 25 miles per hour! I never drive the speed limit so I just enjoyed how I couldn't rush, I couldn't speed. Maybe I'm the only weird driver who is still happy and smiling when the driving conditions are so bad. I know it's strange. I drove back downtown to our teacher training at work. It's pretty cool. I was in elementary education, in college, when I left to become a hairdresser. So I thought I was going to be a teacher. Now, I can still "teach" without officially being a teacher. And on a subject I actually enjoy. And a lot more freedom than a classroom setting. I actually like telling tricks of the trade or techniques I think are awesome, to those that maybe haven't used them before or haven't put into practice yet. It's just a different side to the hairdressing business. I'm getting all excited and I haven't even done too much with that yet. We even had to do an impromptu ten minute presentation! A little bit of everything...The same night, at bible study, only about a hundred ladies showed up. It was a smaller group but I played the songs that they sing and it felt giddy, maybe just on my part, but everything was shortened up and we made it out before it hit 8:30. Driving back, it was amazing how everybody cleared out of the streets. Literally, at that time of night, I was the only driver for a big stretch of my drive. Anyway, for a first snowfall day, that was a lot of driving all over town!
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Thanksgiving day was Great! First of all, the kitchen we have is way too small and way too cluttered. I don't know about anyone else, but when the work space is a mess, I get distracted and it becomes hard to do anything. Thank goodness we have a door to the kitchen. My sister had her french music playing and I made french toast. By the way, I'm hooked on homemade french toast lately! Just think what perfect food it is. We cooked (mostly my sister) and got everything ready. I guess we make what we like and I made a layered salad. It takes a while to make only because you have to boil, cool, dice, layer. My sister is an amazing cook. I always tell people she can create something out of nothing.
So, I've never been out of the house on thanksgiving day. But. My favorite salad needs beets and somehow we overlooked the fact that we didn't have any. So I drove out in search of beets. The first three closest stores were too small to carry whole canned beets. One of the clerks really tried helping me from the counter. "Yes we have beans. Third shelf over. Down, down, over right," in her accent. I stare at the space and there are no beets. She runs over. "Here, here are beans." I wanted to laugh but she was trying to be so helpful. I ended up going farther to Safeway which thankfully, the stores were open in the morning. I was actually happy to be out. There were so many last minute shoppers. I've never been in a busier grocery store before! People also stared. I wondered if it was my haircolor or the grin on my face. Why do I have to smile so much?! Happy with my beets and my caramel apple spice.
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I am always amazed at how great I can be feeling until someone does or says something that takes me aback and kind of shocks me. And I try to act normal. I try to pretend it doesn't affect me. But it does. It's that first reaction that I can't hide. It's just that things people say or do sometimes throw me off and what I feel I can't help but feel the first few moments. I've already decided that I can only take charge of myself. What I allow to settle in my heart or mind. What I allow to shape or change me. But sometimes it's just hurt, and until I realize people don't always intend what they do or don't realize how it affects others, those first initial feelings can be breaking. I guess I have to be a big girl and brush it off. Just enjoy life and not let negativity, what other's think or do affect me.
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I am always surrounded by a lot of people. A lot of talking, conversations, just background noise or sound. Everywhere I go. Even at home. And after a long week of so many different things, so so many different people and activities, I love to sit down and not hear anything. So I truly love when the house is empty and it's super quiet. It's as if everything melts away and there is no chaos for a couple of hours. No need to do anything for anybody, to talk or listen. Today I curled up in the couch and read a whole book. In fact a book on balance, which I think and talk on that subject a lot. Since it wasn't my book, I just jotted down things in a little notebook that I relate to or do, or work on, in myself. Reflected and thought for some time. For some reason, it also made me think of certain people I know. Anyway, I thought it was a good read and a perfect ending to the week.