Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Field Flowers

I never thought I'd be one of those people I see at the coffee shops with their fancy laptops out, studying, browsing, doing work. But here I am in a cozy little corner of a coffee shop. Not in a busy one, otherwise, I'd be so distracted, I'd never do a thing...
I was going for a walk yesterday. The wind was pretty strong. I mean, I could hear it whistling. All of a sudden, it was as if I walked into a cloud of delicious perfume. It felt like I was lifted up and swirled with the wind. (you know how they portray cartoon characters following a scent? That's what I must have looked like, trying to pick it up and see where it was coming from.) I had to stop mid track, look around me, and find the source of the gentle yet strong enough fragrance. So gentle. Yet so distinct. One whiff is not enough.
I guess the reason for it's strength of scent was because it was a whole lawn filled with the flowers pictured above. That's one strong flower. I picked one just to make sure it was what was so fragrant! So, if I could make perfume out of this flower, I would. Or, if I found a perfume with that scent, I'd wear it. (and I only have one bottle and wear only one scent.)
It's intoxicating. I couldn't 'sniff' enough!
The sunshine and the little flowers blooming in random places means Spring is here. Feels so good.
Today, I had the privilege to play a duet with a person who once adjudicated me back in the day when I was younger. I mean, this guy instructed my choir director, way back. I would have never imagined that I would one day play with him. We practiced an Easter composition for the choir. Imagine, a choir singing to the accompaniment of a duet! Hehe. Probably never seen such a thing?! We met at my choir director's home. Oh, how I love her South Hill neighborhood. Just another chance to see into another piano teacher's 'home'.
Funny, I've been asked quite a few times lately if I teach piano...Hmmm

That is one thing I will always be grateful for. Music. And not just for the ability to hear music, but to play music. I mean, this morning I was upset and saddened. Then I had this practice, and it calmed me and gave me joy. Those times of trouble, sit down and play, and get peace.

There are only a few people in my life, that I could tell anything and know they would completely understand me. They wouldn't judge. They wouldn't teach. And if they did judge, I can't tell by their look on their faces. And if they didn't understand, I would never know. They just have a great ear to listen. I wish at this time I could speak to one of them, but they are out of reach.
It's only people like these that you can talk to and leave relieved, feel satisfied, and comforted.
Not everyone has that 'ear'. That talent to listen. And not just to listen, but to hear. And in having heard, having compassion. And if telling me something, saying something comforting.
I am pretty sure, my friend, if I were sitting across from you today, I'd be a muddled mess. My words would be confusing. I probably wouldn't makes sense. But we all have those days where there are not enough words to express what we feel. Don't you ever have that?
Not enough, to pinpoint, to explain. You can look in the eyes and see, but what is it you see?

I have to say, I am so happy my hair is now past my shoulders. I know. Way off of where I thought this would be heading...
But, I loved having short hair. That 'bob'. It was amazing! In fact I see pictures of me then, and miss it. You'd think, who cares. It's hair. Well, yeah...
But, the reason for loving long hair? Well...think of it this way. I wake up, rake my hair, put it in a pony tail, go work out, drop out of pony tail, and still get a compliment. But hear this, if I get a compliment on a day when I didn't even comb my hair, and the person knows I'm a hairdresser, I almost feel mocked. Not that they're doing that. I always say thank you. They don't need an explanation of how I did not 'do' my hair. I just find it very humorous. But that's the great thing of long hair. It just hangs. No work needed. So it's not about looks, or getting compliments. It's about the fact that I don't like to do my hair. Strange to hear from me? Eh...

I wish that who I am now, I was a few years back. I know, everybody says that sometime in their lifetime. I hear it from older people all the time. But, I am saying it now. And in saying that, I am also grateful, that I am who I am now. Weird. But in my head it all makes sense. I mean, I'm not the one in control of things and time, so it all plays out well anyway...