Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I Cherish

Honesty. Unselfish motives. Pure heart.
No manipulation. No flattery.
Deception, in any form, disgusts me.
'Disgusts' is a strong word, I feel.

Too bad even I can't be all those at all times. 'Cause it's not like I've never lied. Or realized that the intent behind what I did was actually selfish. But, you know what I'm saying...
I wish I could say I am pure, and I love purity in others. But I am not. I am just regular. Like you. Things can be done unintentionally. And then. Things can be done, very so, intentionally.
I still do like purity.

I am blessed to have friends that can tell me to my face what needs to be said. That can tell me the truth without thinking, what will I think of them.

*The biggest mistake people make (i think) is underestimate other people. How much one is capable of. How much one truly knows. How much one ______ (fill in the blank.)
Oh, how I believe this one to be so true.

***
A few days ago, I realized I will soon turn 27!
It hit me. This isn't 16, 21, 25. This is 27. Regular old 27.
Pretty strange and pretty cool. I think it will certainly feel, and make me 'look' quite different.
One of my 'little sisters', a thirteen year old, asked me how old I am. And then asked me if I was married. Then there was a 'wow'.
Wow!
I don't think that's what I meant. And I wasn't thinking about marriage when I thought about the fact that I will be turning 27. But they kind of go together, so I just put them in like that.
Why not?!

***
I thought, 'I shouldn't put this can of V8 next to my laptop'. Went to pick it up and it jumped at me. Was I worried that I was covered in orange spots, or that there was an orange puddle on the carpet? Nope. I just had to make sure any splash of juice didn't seep into my laptop. Thank goodness, nothing spilled on my keyboard. Ugh. It really jumped at me, I'm telling ya!

___

Today, I told myself I wouldn't talk about myself to any of my clients.
Sometimes, I just don't want to be asked any questions. I don't want to tell a lie, but I don't want to tell the truth either. So I'd rather not be asked.
But. I'm pretty sure I strayed a little from what I said I would not do.
If I used the phrase, "yeah, my ..." or "me too, blah blah blah about me" then that was talking about myself, willingly. Nobody pulled my tongue. If I was asked a question directly, then for sure I was talking about myself, in answering the question.
Anyway. I just thought I wanted to try that today.
-

Sometimes, I'll ask a simple question, and it leads to a quite the unraveling.
I think I understand how one trigger word can open up a flood of words and emotions in people. Another reason why I love my job.

__
Today, I actually called someone on the phone to talk! I never call just to talk!!!
That is big.
Like the character from the TV show Psych says, "I like to see, smell, taste..."
Well, I don't really want to taste you when I talk to you, but you get the gist of it. I like face to face interaction. Can't help it. I tend to be like a puppy following it's owner, if the person I talk to walks around or moves from place to place...
I wonder if others have these strange complexes. I mean I could list of quite a few funny things I do or the ways I do things. Pretty strange I'd say.
But really, there is so much more to a conversation, or any interaction, when you can see the whole being. Their eyes, their face, their whole image. The same words, 'sound' different. Don't you think?
But I understand. You can't always have everybody right next to you.
***
Goodnight.