Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I Cherish

Honesty. Unselfish motives. Pure heart.
No manipulation. No flattery.
Deception, in any form, disgusts me.
'Disgusts' is a strong word, I feel.

Too bad even I can't be all those at all times. 'Cause it's not like I've never lied. Or realized that the intent behind what I did was actually selfish. But, you know what I'm saying...
I wish I could say I am pure, and I love purity in others. But I am not. I am just regular. Like you. Things can be done unintentionally. And then. Things can be done, very so, intentionally.
I still do like purity.

I am blessed to have friends that can tell me to my face what needs to be said. That can tell me the truth without thinking, what will I think of them.

*The biggest mistake people make (i think) is underestimate other people. How much one is capable of. How much one truly knows. How much one ______ (fill in the blank.)
Oh, how I believe this one to be so true.

A few days ago, I realized I will soon turn 27!
It hit me. This isn't 16, 21, 25. This is 27. Regular old 27.
Pretty strange and pretty cool. I think it will certainly feel, and make me 'look' quite different.
One of my 'little sisters', a thirteen year old, asked me how old I am. And then asked me if I was married. Then there was a 'wow'.
I don't think that's what I meant. And I wasn't thinking about marriage when I thought about the fact that I will be turning 27. But they kind of go together, so I just put them in like that.
Why not?!

I thought, 'I shouldn't put this can of V8 next to my laptop'. Went to pick it up and it jumped at me. Was I worried that I was covered in orange spots, or that there was an orange puddle on the carpet? Nope. I just had to make sure any splash of juice didn't seep into my laptop. Thank goodness, nothing spilled on my keyboard. Ugh. It really jumped at me, I'm telling ya!


Today, I told myself I wouldn't talk about myself to any of my clients.
Sometimes, I just don't want to be asked any questions. I don't want to tell a lie, but I don't want to tell the truth either. So I'd rather not be asked.
But. I'm pretty sure I strayed a little from what I said I would not do.
If I used the phrase, "yeah, my ..." or "me too, blah blah blah about me" then that was talking about myself, willingly. Nobody pulled my tongue. If I was asked a question directly, then for sure I was talking about myself, in answering the question.
Anyway. I just thought I wanted to try that today.

Sometimes, I'll ask a simple question, and it leads to a quite the unraveling.
I think I understand how one trigger word can open up a flood of words and emotions in people. Another reason why I love my job.

Today, I actually called someone on the phone to talk! I never call just to talk!!!
That is big.
Like the character from the TV show Psych says, "I like to see, smell, taste..."
Well, I don't really want to taste you when I talk to you, but you get the gist of it. I like face to face interaction. Can't help it. I tend to be like a puppy following it's owner, if the person I talk to walks around or moves from place to place...
I wonder if others have these strange complexes. I mean I could list of quite a few funny things I do or the ways I do things. Pretty strange I'd say.
But really, there is so much more to a conversation, or any interaction, when you can see the whole being. Their eyes, their face, their whole image. The same words, 'sound' different. Don't you think?
But I understand. You can't always have everybody right next to you.