Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The State Of My Heart

You know that feeling when you want to say so much but you get to only say a few choice words. Weather it's the time, the situation, the place... Well, I've had to do that quite a few times recently. All I seem to want to do is go on, and on, and on, but the words I say are just a few certain ones. Sadly, they don't seem to express what I try to want to say. That's how I feel about talking a lot of times. I have to hold and restrain way more than I wish. And it's so hard to choose just the right ones. How much to say. Which way to say it. Or maybe how to put a massive thought into a short little condensed version. Yet still get the point across. Oh, how many times I just want to ramble on and on...
What about when you get that one chance to say something. And you wish you could say so much. But it's that one only time and once it starts, you say just what comes out and there's no taking back. And when it's all done and said, there's no more adding to it. It's just that one chance. How do you say exactly the right thing? The interesting thing is, what I say and what is heard can be two completely different things. How is it that what I say can be 'heard' or taken in as something quite other? Where I'm coming from, what the 'back story' that I have influencing my words are not seen or known. Why do we apply our own understandings, our views, our perceptions to others? Why is it so hard to see it as seen from the other's side?   <i'm not gonna even try to put that into a sensible paragraph. it's past midnight!!

 "I'm going to say..."
 It comes out different.
"I should have said..."
Makes me laugh at how much I do that. That's the side that sometimes still tends to over think things...
I've found it's way easier to leave and think, 'well, that's that!' and forget about it. Let it go...But the times I regress...well, then I over think again.

Movie of the month: When In Rome. If you wanna know why, too bad. hehe

I have found a song that expresses the state of my heart. In fact it could be my theme song, it's so perfect. It's so perfect I can't even share because you would know the state of my heart. *wink*

What I like lately. Not expecting anything. Then everything that comes my way is grand. It's almost too tiring on the mind to try to figure how something will play out, or happen, or where it will lead. So. Expect nothing and enjoy the results. Ah, makes me smile.