Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Friday, December 30, 2011

It Is As It Should Be

This year has been epic on so many levels, in so many aspects, in all spheres of my life! It's not only about me, but that's a completely separate subject... So many things, all in one little year. A perfect time. It's all so vivid! It all makes sense...Simple. Clear.
 Every time I start thinking how could I possibly describe, where do I even start, I get overwhelmed and decide that it's OK if I'm the only one who sees it at all! I end up just being happy, grinning to myself, content with the fact that I know God knows, and I understand, and that's all that matters! Because if I even begin to tell one thing to someone who doesn't understand that part of my life, I realize it's futile because that part of my life ties in with the other parts of my life...There's no way to begin...It's worse to start telling something to someone that you're excited about and get a blank look on their face. Then, at that moment, I wish I hadn't even started...
I tell people I'm just loving life. They ask if I have a new boyfriend. (I'm never surprised. But I should stop telling people, "I knew you were going to say that...") And I understand. It's easy to  think someone is happy when they say, "I bought a house! I got a new car! I'm getting married! I got a promotion! I went to Europe!" Those are all visible, tangible things. It's harder for people to get it, when the things that make you happy aren't visibly seen by the physical eye or felt with the touch of a hand. When it's not just the typical thing most people exclaim their happiness about...
Well rounded. Balanced. Challenged. Peaceful. Satisfied.

So. What do I want to do? I want to do everything better. Weather I'm with my girls in the mentoring program, playing piano at my choir accompaniment job, studying God's word,  or leading one of the groups, working at the salon and everything else that comes with it, as well as things I will keep unsaid, I want to do them well and better than before! Everything I do, I touch, I come in contact with, I want to do it well! I'm not racing. I'm not competing. It is because I want to at the time that I should...It doesn't matter what anybody else is doing. It's not for anybody else.
I'm super excited. SUPER excited for the upcoming year and can't believe it's right here! I mean, if you think about it, it's just another day that rolls into another day, but yet it's something new! A brand new year. Expecting the unexpected. Taking it as it comes. As a different person, with a different approach to life,  and with new eyes. I have tons of ideas, and desires, and things I wish to accomplish.  I have nothing set in stone. I don't know what will come up. Because it's like the game of Monopoly. What a great board game it is. You think you have nothing and all of a sudden everybody pays you rent. You think you have thousands and houses and hotels and all of a sudden you get dealt the chance card that says you have to pay taxes, rent, etc...So. It can be given when not expected. It can be taken when not expected.
I could be fired or not needed anymore. I might get sick or something. I could die. I might have to be steered in a different direction in life. I might have to give up what I love. Or. I could just keep growing, excelling, doing what I should be doing. Going where I'm meant to go. And it could be all of it together.
But it is life and it is wonderful!
So many choices and opportunities. All I have to be is very flexible. Open. Aware.
Basically, I am just so, so thankful for God's blessings and for the most wonderful past year and am excited and in anticipation of what will come in the new year!

So, Wishing You, a truly 
Happy New Year!!!