Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


So here's the danger. You step out into the street knowing you have the timing right to make it out in front of the speeding oncoming cars. You can pass through, sprinting if need be. But then you look back and see the elderly lady following you, thinking that since you've walked out, it must be OK for her to walk out. If you're walking must mean the 'walk' light is on. There's the realization that she followed your footsteps without even checking, not looking for herself. She thought that if you did it, she could too... It was 'OK' for you to walk only because you're young and fast and capable. You know you'll make it safe...Sadly, her timing's off, she's too slow, and it wasn't 'OK' for her to follow you.

Sometimes we're like the old ladies. Thinking that what is right for one is right for all. She did it, so can I.
Well what's 'right' for one isn't right for all.

Sometimes we're like the ones who walk when the 'walk' light isn't really on yet.  And we don't realize there's more to our choices and how it affects us. How it affects the ones 'following' without looking...

So who's responsibility is it? The old lady's, who should've looked? Or the one that ran ahead?
I guess it might just depend if you know you're being followed. You can pretend you don't see. You don't know...
And perhaps, you're ignorant of the fact all together. You might see it later...You might never know.

You can't tell people to stop following you. You can't make other people's choices. And if you think 'no one's following me', well, at least one is. Even if one.
Looking at the little world around me, most people 'follow'. And sometimes, they don't even know it!

If you're a leader, who are you leading? Where are you leading them? If you're a follower, who are you following? Do you know where you're following them to? Do you know you even follow?!

And if you step off the curb, know that it's your time to step off the curb. Even if a crowd moves and makes it, you might step off and be smashed. Literally or figuratively.  And sometimes you won't see it until later. Perhaps a generation later...And you won't even know when, and where, and why it started...

The lack of understanding from those you would expect to have experience and the eye to see, is made up by those that you wouldn't know or expect it from. They see, they understand. And it gives enough encouragement and peace knowing someone does. It doesn't matter who it is. As long as there is

How can someone say, 'this is just like you' when they've never had a conversation with you about your life? How can they possibly think, 'it's like your life,' when they've never asked you how it actually is? Who's ideas, stories, and opinions do they base it off?  
And I paced. I truly paced because I've been given hard, physical proof of how people can be so wrong.
Over and over...Was I surprised?! Not one bit. But I was deeply saddened. Because what do people do? They form their own version of whatever they want to see and that is what they believe. Without ever trying to find out for themselves.
Will I run to explain? Nope. That would be me five years ago. The Irina now doesn't need to explain. All I need to do is just live daily knowing many people have no clue. And it's OK.