Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Chasing Wind

How is that we get caught up in making decisions to please others? Why do we compromise ourselves, our spouse, our family, perhaps what's better for us, and make a choice that would not necessarily be better for us, not necessarily make us happy, but make someone else happy, whom we try to please??

We try to make them happy only to realize that they are unhappy with us within the next moment, within the next choice we make. Or perhaps we make someone, who we look up to or think is important, pleased with us, but turn around to find the one next to them quite displeased. And so we go about running, chasing wind, as we try to make everyone happy, but ourselves, ending up exasperated and disappointed. We are afraid that they won't like us. That they will be disappointed in us, that they will disapprove or criticise. Perhaps talk behind our back.

 Fear of man. People pleasing. It never satisfies. You've made one happy only to see someone else raise an eyebrow. You've chosen one thing over another, only to make someone that doesn't even care, pleased with you. But you yourself aren't pleased with yourself. Of course if they praise you and you get compliments and lots of attention, perhaps maybe you'll think you made the right choice. Perhaps you'll think that's the way to go...

Why is it that we don't stand up for our choices? Even if someone disapproves. It's not possible to make everyone happy. It's not even our job to make everyone around us happy. Smiling. Liking us and our things and what we do. It's not about that. Yet, somehow, too many of us are caught in it, running around trying to please everyone. Perhaps because it's someone too close. A family member. A good friend. A husband or wife. It's harder of course.

Just thinking about questions people ask. And choices that come up in life. And the reasoning behind them. It's important to look at the root and core. Sometimes, I realize myself, that my logic and justification of what I am doing is for the wrong reason. Affected but what I think someone else will think. How they will look at me. And I have to step back and say, "no, I will not do it because of that."