Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Encouragement From The Most Unexpected Moments

A couple days ago, my coworker said a few things and with her words spoke my thoughts. It was pretty much thought for thought, on all topics addressed. And I stood and thought, you have no idea. And thank God, I am not the only one who feels that way. Because lately I was getting these feelings and telling myself, Irina, you are just creating that in your mind. But apparently, I am not the only one, so I couldn't possibly be making it up. I had to tell her that. It is amazing how a fragment of time, in a small, maybe five minute conversation, can open up a whole new spectrum of things. All of a sudden a few different things became clear to me...
It was also very gratifying to know that someone stands up for their principles and even makes choices based on them. That they live out what they believe and say. And I admire it greatly.
I mentally run through my day today. The events, the conversations. Such a full day, and in fact, I feel weighted at the moment. But that is my own doing. Aside from that, the best part of all of it had nothing with me 'doing' anything. It was nothing more than the time I took to sleep in the middle of the day! If you're wondering why in world would I be sleeping on a Sunday, it is because if I do wedding hair in early hours of the day, a nap is a necessity! And todays nap was so unreal. I woke up for a second and just thought, I really need to just enjoy this. This state of being. I felt like I was the most content, peaceful person in the world. With not a worry in the world. With not a fear to be felt. Maybe that's why the nap felt so wonderful?! It's one of the most satisfying naps ever!

My nephews were over with their parents, yesterday, and they both got to meet my new fish, Mr. Elegance. I'm pretty sure the baby would have grabbed him if he was allowed. His little hands really wanted to get close.
These boys are just darling. And the cutest thing was, when the older one stated, he is not going anywhere, when my sister said goodbye. He decided he would like to stay. Stay overnight with us. Of course that didn't happen, but oh, what a joy it was to see his little face and how sure he was that he was going to be just fine without his parents and all! And he isn't even three! Well, I guess it was also very cute when they were all leaving and these 'big' aunts and uncle (us) stood at the door all together, and all mimicked his child-like mannerisms, as a goodbye. We all seemed to turn into little kids for the time being. I guess we can't help but make funny faces, noises, and gestures, even if we are quite the 'grownups'.  I mean, if anybody saw that from the side, it would be one hilarious picture!

Today, I opened up my Russian Bible for the first time in a long, long time. I realized, apart from hearing scripture in Russian at the Russian church or anywhere else that it's used or spoken, I have not personally read the Russian version. Not at church, not at home. I read mine in English, but for some reason, I needed to see how a verse looked and sounded in Russian, and compared it to the one I've been reading. I guess, I know and understand the Russian because I've heard it all my life, and have always read it. And now I feel it's really important for me to know it in English. To be as comfortable with it as I am with Russian. 

Like the back of my own hand.

Friday, June 17, 2011

If Only You Knew

Movie of the month: Oscar. It made me laugh. I like that time period and it's pretty. How's that for an explanation?
Although, I really liked The Edge. Anthony Hopkins.

Oh the things you learn when you 'cut hair'!
Everybody should try to be a hairdresser for a day. I know that's not possible. But still. And you'd think, all I do is cut hair...

That's all.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

There's Meaning In Everything

I will explain. There's a lot on this subject I feel I want to say. It may not be taken the way I want. It may be misunderstood. And it may not be believed, but I will say it...By the way, in any post that I've said, "I will get back to this," I will...It  might be clumped together, it might not. But I will go through and tie all loose ends.

I realized this blogging thing can be a little dangerous for a few reasons. But I won't stop, for now.

For everything we do, for everything thing we say, I believe there is always a reason. A source of some sort. Yes, there are those that babble and when you listen you wonder if there's a sensible phrase whatsoever. And yes, in nervous times even I tend to sound like a lunatic. But even that has it's reason. The nerves, of course...So.
That is the beginning.

What I am trying to say is, I do things for a reason. And in sharing the next few photos, I just wanted to say, my purpose of getting 'photographed' has nothing to do with wanting to 'look' like a model, to showcase myself, and any of those silly things!! For me it's all about something else...That will be later.

There's a reason I took off the photos, my sister tagged me in, on facebook. There's a reason I kept telling her, I don't need pictures of my face. (I hope you don't hate me for saying this.) There's a reason I wore my old boots, my necklace, the colors, chose certain places to go...For me it's about images, symbolisms, a story, about my life right now. But of course, it's also fun. Creative. Fun to do this with my sister. And she will be the only one. Later on this subject...
I am ridiculous. I can't ever seem to do this at a decent time. I can't seem to ever just sit down and right (i mean 'write') it how I should. So here I am again, telling you I will get back to this. 
Funny and ridiculous. But I always say, it's my blog. And that's the least of my worries. 
Cheers! Life is Great!!! 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Little Bit Of, Let's Say, Everything (Unfinished and Unedited)

Have you ever wondered how a post looks like before it's edited? Well, I decided to humor you (or more like confuse you) and let you read the post before I even write it out...might as well, because most likely it will take me awhile to get back to...

{i'm in danger of saying too much. i started this late at night on the 7th... i'm telling you, if you don't want to read a 'chapter' then don't read this post...
Sometimes we invest our hearts so much, only to realize we will never receive anything in return. But that doesn't mean we stop investing. It doesn't mean we give up. We give a smile without one in return. Doesn't mean we stop smiling. If we are treated poorly does that mean we start treating others poorly? If we are lied to does it mean we start lying to everyone? if we speak and no one listens, do we stop speaking? I hope not.
teaching>pastors teachers, salon...
i've been a 'late bloomer' in many aspects of life, but oh, when i bloom. that is something. Sometimes, the things that take more time, turn out much better, for that.

phenomenon in life, gods kind gift to me. why? do i deserve it. just his grace poured out to me to show me to give me a chance to be so close to him.

one day we will all see in good time, when every thing will be brought to light. how our words or actions destroyed. that our sometimes good intentions made things worse. that when we were to build up, we broke it down. when we were to love we hated. but no matter what, god get s us through, and even though the results aren't what we want or know should be, it's not in our hands. in that time we will see how wrong we were perhaps.  and maybe after a lifetime, only to realize then when it's too far too late, will we see what could have been. i will always always think of the story of Job.

jelousy destroys, deceit destroys

these last few years, i've learned more about words and metality than i ever have in my 26 years. how a small negative seed can be planted and make you believe that which is not. how somehow influence can be so powerful. bad way, and good way. and how much we don't know that we can be influencing for the worst! how strength is so powerful. not physical. but mental. to be able to be cleared minded. to keep your ground. to stand up when all you want to do is crumble. where does that power come from. Only from God. And although the results may still not be positive or the desired, coming out knowing you stood up for what is right, means so much more than even getting the results you want.
how long can we go, how much can we take, how much can we hold on...

there are things that sometimes need to be said. and who will say them? who will speak up?

what facinates me? friendships and how they work. loyalty.

freedom. do you even know what that means. what it feels like? we are all technically free. but how many are bondaged by something. physical, emotional, spiritual. Freedom in christ. so freeing. so powerful. weightless!

try by natasha bedingfield.

when you want to speak to someone who comes to your mind. who do you want to share with?

some people will never know how much of an impact they have made. and sometimes, i don't have enough thank you's to express it. and how much is too much. isn't one thank you enough? i just am so thankful for everyone sent my way. somehow everybody is exactly what i need. one way or another.
i know what it means when you feel that peace. unexplainable...
i know what if feels to feel joy...even in...
i am so blessed and eternily thankful. in fact, no matter what, i am probably in the best place of my life, only because what is most important to me is where it should be!

brothery interaction, dynamics...can't compare with a boy. they jus play different. 
they just want love and   attnetion.and i want to give that as much as possible.
car broken in. thankyou..strangly

to those people that worry about my relationship status. let me tell you, if a guy can't get the courage to come up to me, he shouldn't even be with me. right? well, just a thought...they can't start thinking girls will do all the work can they? i'm just saying this because people are starting to tell me not to wait to long and i want to reply: i don't need to date ten, twenty, a hundred guys to find the perfect one.  i'm also not asking men out. i'm not asking men to marry me, and i also like life as it comes. i'm not trying to jump ten years ahead. obviously, there is a reason for my 'single' season, and at this time in my life, it is perfect. my life has it's own timeline, not like anyone else's i certainly don't want it to be like anyone else's. Mine is good. (i have a lot of good things to say on this topic but i have to contain myself!)}

...the dot dot dot means this is certainly not finished! Just the ideas, the thoughts, stringed out...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Hearts And CupCakes

 When friends get married...

 Soon to be bride.

There is something really special in doing hair for a bride. At a recent class I got to teach at work on updos, I mentioned that it's either a great memory or a 'horrid updo gone bad' memory. Hopefully, it's a great memory! We as artists, get to create on a canvas that is someone's hair! 
It's in their memories, in their photographs, always etched into the rest of their lifetime. I think that is awesome. Woman talk about what their dress, what their hair looked like, for years after the wedding! And to be able to be part of someone's life like that is so cool. To be trusted to do something so important for a bride. For many girls, weddings are 'it'. It's the big thing of a lifetime. And I get to be part of it so many times when I do their hair the day of the 'big' day, the wedding!
At work today, I did a bridal updo. The season has begun! What I love is to hear how the couple met, 'how and what' of their story. Everybody loves a good love story. I get to ask and hear about them all the time...
I am privileged to be doing my friend's hair for her wedding pretty soon. I watched my friend 'grow' up and go through different seasons of her life, and now, she's stepping into a life as a soon to be married woman. Into a life of being someone's wife. I'm looking forward to her wedding. And doing her hair.

Friday, June 3, 2011


Who writes twice in one day?? Me! Hehe.
Actually, I wrote twice yesterday, but posted this morning and now am writing, well, now.

Just wanted to say...
Can't wait to watch X-Men First Class. I'm an X-Men fan. Have the whole series! I also want to watch Jane Eyre, the new one. Anyone out there want to go with me? Oh wait, I'm going to Europe! That has to wait.

I love how sometimes my laptop is low on battery and I plug in the power cord into my laptop, only later to realize, the cord itself is not plugged into the outlet! Uh, electricity can't just produce itself just 'cause I think it.

I wonder if God thought about the fact that we girls would be flat ironing our hair with 450 degree flat irons, when He created us and our hair? I mean, what a wondrous creation, just our hair. We can mold it, shape it, cut it, burn the heck out of it, and still manage to have it lookin' shiny and lustrous after all the chemicals and color we've put it through. Try touching that burning iron to your skin. Doesn't feel to good, does it? Nope. I know that one way too well. But, on hair? Why not. It's hair. That was well thought out, I have to say. Hair. Amazing. (First, I don't want any scientist explaining to me what hair is made up of and why it can take that heat. I just want to be in awe with out all the technicalities. And second, maybe it's the hairdresser in me that thinks hair is so grand.)
As for hairdresser talk, I think everyone should own a soft bristle brush! I think we tend to pop into the shower, scrub fast, rinse, comb or not comb at all, throw in product and style. But how many people ever brush their scalp? That's what needs to be taken care of. The end product that hangs also needs to be taken care of so it's healthy lookin', but the scalp? The scalp needs care too! Especially men! Sometimes we think only ladies 'do' their hair, etc...Men. It's totally cool to take care and look good. Unless you spend more time than me at the mirror. Then it's weird. Anyway, it feels really nice to brush and bring blood flow to the scalp.
I have found that feeling beautiful feels so good.
 (It doesn't matter what I actually look like, it's how I feel.)
 People can give me compliments all day, and I could not take them, not believe them, based on how I actually feel about myself!
I find that being a female, being feminine is so Beautiful!
I love that God created woman to be the final touch to His wonderful creation. And to make it perfect the world needs...a woman!
Putting on makeup, perfume, dressing up. Not because I have to, but because I can.
I've been wearing my hair straight lately, and today, I decided I'd curl it. And you know what, it totally changed how I feel.
 I feel softer and more feminine just with curls in my hair. If you're a girl, I wonder if that happens to ya? Do you ever feel like your choice of clothing, your hair style, your makeup for the day, change the way you act, feel, or portray yourself? It certainly does to me. If I wear a puffy skirt I feel like I have to act like a 'lady'. Dressy? Proper. Sweats? Legs curled under me at the breakfast table! I mean, that's what's comfortable!
I also know people act differently towards a person based on what they 'visually' look like. Sadly, it's true.
One of the coolest things with changing my hair, the style, the color, the cut, is to see the response to it in society. Long, short, dark, blond. It's awesome.
And in my profession, I might not want to do my hair, or dress up, or slather on the makeup that day, but my clients certainly would like to see me that way. Otherwise, even I'd question the outcome of my hair, based on what my hairdresser looks like.
Anyway, this isn't about looking good or what you look like.
It's about me liking being feminine. Being a woman. Feeling beautiful.  Even playing the role of the 'woman's role'.
I like it.
I love my job. And I love the conversations I get to have with certain people.
As for this day, I think this is enough.
Love and Peace

The Things I Keep

For someone who's very visual, I have quite a limited amount of images here. Don't ya think? I guess Photobucket makes up for that.

There's not a single soul out there that should ever go through anything on their own. Ever.

You can't control what others say about you. How they tell your story. What is said behind your back. How someone makes you out to be. The nice thing? It doesn't matter. A smart enough person will find out for themselves.
I've always thought it would be cool to hear people talking about me when I'm not around. Do you ever wonder what people say about you? How they talk about you? Sometimes I do, especially about certain subjects. Just for the fun of it. Otherwise, I'd rather not know. What if I can't control myself, and start treatin' ya different? You know how sometimes we find out something and all of a sudden the demeanor changes and you can't hide it. Yeah. I'd rather not know.
Or. Facing people that know more about you than you've ever told them about yourself. I mean, do you address it, knowing they know? Or do you casually hint, and maybe somehow mention it in hope of starting a conversation about it? Or do you ignore it all together as if you don't know that they know? Sometimes it's just awkward when others say things for you, that you might have wished they didn't.
But let me tell ya, It's not like I'm the only one. We tend to speak for others, talk about others, relate with other's life stories, give examples with other's lives etc...It's not like I've not done it myself.
There is something just so amazing at seeing God's hand at work, right in front of your nose!
When you can see the undeniable doings and just want to run around telling people, "do you see what I see?" Or to say, Jesus, that was just for me! You did all that for me. It's inexpressible. Or try to explain how this and that came all together and this and that happened, and this led to that because of that, when you are put right in the middle as if dropped just for a purpose...blah blah. I know that was a silly way of explaining. But you get the gist of it. Right? I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes things happen and I just wish someone else sees what I see. Hears, understands, feels. Through my eyes, heart and mind...And to try to explain doesn't always leave you satisfied. It's almost as if I shouldn't have even started. But those times when someone gets it? Ah, that's a totally cool experience. To share and feel together!
It's amazing how God uses people to work in other people's lives. How He can take care of many, all different needs, with one 'situation'. How it all ties together. I can't even imagine how much I don't understand, how much I don't see, how much I have no clue as to how someone might have affected me or I might have affected them! I'm too small for that.

Something will probably come out of it one day...

If I care for you, I pray for you.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


As I listen to the rain and thunder outside, I think of these words that seem to fit today so well:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
-Blessings by Laura Story

This was a candle prayer wall, at West Shore, where girls could write down their prayers and know that each one would be taken and prayed for. I took three, and the following morning, as I read through the cards, I sat there and tears just fell down my face. 
These were cries to Jesus that these girls had written down. 

I have plenty I could cry about, but my tears have been for others lately.
There is a lot of people with pain in this world and sometimes, the only thing I can do is pray and believe that Jesus will ease their pain.

With Heartfelt Love and Prayers
There is no greater joy than a child's love and innocence.
As my nephew runs up to my car window and gives me a kiss on the lips, calls out my name with a shy smile and waits for me to come back. When he asks to walk and hold my hand. When he asks to smell the blooms on the trees. When he asks where does it hurt when he sees tears in my eyes...and so much more!
I'm pretty sure a few years more and I don't think he'll let me hold his hand anymore. I mean, big boys don't hold their aunt's hands, right? Sad. I just have to cherish the moments while they last.