Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Friday, December 28, 2012

The State of the Heart

An ungrateful heart will never be happy. Never be satisfied. Never Content.
Will always want more. Will always see a better option.


What a wonderful thing it is to be able to say that I am grateful. That I am content. There's truly nothing I need. I might want a lot of things, but I don't need them. 
And how wonderful it is to know what truly satisfies and fulfills. 
Everything else is just a gift, given to enjoy. 
It's sad when we forget. 
When I forget and want to put something or someone in His place. 
But he is gracious to remind. 
Nothing can stand in His place. Nothing can replace the joy that comes from Jesus.
What a wonderful thing it is to have that joy!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wedding Moment

photo. Daniel Usenko 
I always wonder why someone chose an image. Why they liked a certain photo over another...My husband asks me that too...Why did you like this one?
I wonder where we get those preferences from? Why we like certain things over others...Why we are drawn to, why we choose, why we like or favor one thing over another?...
Knowing my own preferences, inclinations, and set of what appeals to me, I ask myself that too...

Saturday, December 8, 2012

What Do I Focus On?

 Thoughts while driving to work.

I watched as the car in front of me slowly drifted closer and closer into the lane next to it.

(I see a lot of 'almost accidents' now that my commute to work is much longer and mostly through busy freeways and city streets. I enjoy it. People say I only say that now, but we'll see...)
It made me think how we can focus so hard on what someone else is doing, what someone else is watching, that we lose sight of what we are doing ourselves! 
While watching the drifter, thinking, "What in the world is that driver doing?" I could easily start drifting myself because I'm no longer paying attention to my own driving. It's happened before.

It happens like that in life. I start focusing, thinking, and it consumes me. I forget to look at myself and what I may look like now due to the fact that I'm taken over by this obsession. How I am acting and reacting, and what am I doing because I am so consumed.
Reminder to take a step back and look at myself. Perhaps I am now that which I was looking at.

Thursday, August 30, 2012


Every day is flying by and it feels like there's nothing to be waiting for. But. When it hits me, I know I will panic. Things will be unfinished. Too much still to do... Who knows what else... I just know it.

How many people walk the earth with a lonely heart? How many people, with sadness in their eyes? With smiles for the people, and tears on the inside?

I am seeing myself in a different way now, these days. In the last four months. How it's been interesting. How so peculiar. And how wonderful. I'm going to have to get back to blogging. Even if for myself...I decided I'm "back"! Pinterest, Instagram, Fb, Blogging...might as well...reasons for it. I would have to be a different girl with different people, I suppose, so I might as well be what I "should be"... not going to explain.
I am looking forward to this weekend. Labor day! And this one should be good!!! This September. This Year...into the next year as a Mrs...Bizarre!

Thursday, August 2, 2012


We seek perfection
when we ourselves forget 
that we aren't perfect.

Reminder for myself not to expect perfect, 
to look and realize, I too am not that.

It may be perfect because it is imperfect. 
That makes me happy.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Red Velvet Cheescake

I would have never thought it would be this way...
About the good & about the bad.
But for now, I'll sip on my latte from Barnes&Nobles and nibble on my red velvet cheesecake. 
(love that word-nibble)
Oh, the things that make me smile...

Thursday, April 19, 2012

This Week

I think that to assist means to make the person on stage, the person you're assisting, look good. Look better. That would be the whole point.
 When I was told I'd be assisting for Mark Clayton for a Label.m class, I figured I'd shampoo his girls for his haircutting class and no big deal. Nothing to be nervous about. Who'd know the difference if it was me or a student from the school we were at?

Sunday night before the event, I had a stress dream. (Somebody called dreams like that a 'stress dream' and I thought it was a perfect explanation!) Anyway, it kind of made me nervous because I felt like I'd humiliate myself in some way because of what was in the dream...Silly dreams...What is it with them anyway! They're just dreams!
But, I guess afterwards, for me, it was a bit more than shampooing the 'models'. First of all, it was nice to go 'through the motions' even if on such a small scale. At least  I now know how it kind of works. What to expect. What to look for...
 My boss asked me what I learned. What I'd do different...
If I were telling hairdressers, they'd understand, maybe it'd be interesting, but I'm not going to go into it...
With Mark Clayton at a Label.m class.
I came home and had the worst headache. To the point of tears. So sometimes you have to resort to drugs. Don't worry, not drugs drugs. Just a painkiller. But whoah! What in the world was in it?! I literally felt like I was on drugs...must have been the combination of something...And discussion later that day was one distraction after another, but we got through...
I was totally giddy (don't ya love that word?) about biking on Tuesday! We went on the Fish Trail. 
You can tell how excited I was...

Wednesday at work, I looked like a scarecrow, but nobody said a thing, so...and for my second job later that night, I was told, "you look sick." But no worries, it was about my physical state of being, because by then, I already 'sounded' it with my sneezing, watery eyes, and voice...
And today, I got to play stylist, photographer, and later, even a personal shopper/assistant shopper. How fun!


I'm not a professional photographer! And I love it because I can get away with blurry photos, overexposed images, faulty images in general. Who's gonna blame me?!
For a requirement at work I am to create my own design. When I saw that it was one of the requirements, I totally got excited because at this point, it's not 'over my head'. My inspiration was from over five years ago when I saw a Vivian Mackinder image while in beauty school. Who knew I'd use it now?  It's been in my mind ever since. Don't know where the picture is, but I remember the look! 
Cool thing is I cut it from one take. Diagrammed after. I thought it would have been the other way but interestingly, did the cut first.  All razored below the low horseshoe parting, scissors above. And with her hair, and the cut itself, I didn't do a single cut after drying it! 
One of my absolute favorites is versatility! And with this, it can be worn so many ways. Disconnection. Short and Long. Texture. Movement. Tendrils. Baby fringe under longer fringe. (One of my favorites.) etc...I could make a list.
Our joke of a photoshoot. lol
This is not a 'professional photo shoot'!   I wish I were a pro, 'cause I know what I want, and how I want it...but anyway...these are just basic shots...

She's so beautiful! Best model ever!


I'll post some later...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

When Adults Play Games

Why do people still try to fool each other? Why do they think they can?
There is nothing new under the sun. 

What's old, is new again.

Just because you don't let on, doesn't mean you don't know.

I'm absolutely loving our sunshine! 
Lawn chair. Sunbathing.
 Bike riding. 
Love it!

~Next post? On Association~

Friday, April 6, 2012

A Look Into Your Eyes

Today's song was called, At The Table Of The Lord.

Back in the day of kings and queens, if you were just a mere peasant, you'd probably never see the royalty. Never be among them. Never meet them at all. And certainly never eat at their fine royal table.

In this present time, I will most likely never meet our country's current president or any other future president of any given time. Not in this country nor any other country. I certainly will never have a meal with the presidential family. And to tell you the truth, I never thought about it nor ever wanted to. Not something I'm ambitious about...

Jesus, who is King and Lord of all, was here on Earth. And I've been thinking how amazing and wonderful it must have been for those people that had him near. They could physically touch him. They could look into his face and have a conversation with him. They were taught by him. And when I think of The Lord's Supper, I can't imagine how wonderful it must have been to be sitting at the table of the Lord himself. A simple, regular place, eating, talking...I wonder how that would be like? Just the fact of knowing who he was and to be right there next to him...


And then I think of Luke 22:61, after Peter denies knowing Jesus.
       The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.

How would it feel to look into Jesus' eyes? To have Jesus look into your eyes. His gaze, his all seeing eyes!  What would he see?
Peter? He wept after...

Our eyes, the windows to our souls...
I don't think I could keep his gaze...He sees straight through the heart. What is it that he sees there?..it's sobering to even think.

Friday, March 30, 2012


What happens now affects tomorrow. The choices I make today will show later. In pretty much anything I do! How I treat my client will depend if they come back again. (Just wanted to say, I'm at 93% pre-booking for this month so far! Thought that was awesome!) How much I practice the piano piece now, will show when I play the final time. What I will say this moment, will have repercussion later.  What I put in my mouth in the morning will affect my whole day, and later, my whole life...etc, etc. Weather good or bad.
I just have to constantly think ahead...

I've started reading a book called The Sugar Solution. Why? A preventive measure I would say!

When I was a kid, I used to put three heaping teaspoons of white sugar into my black tea and thought it was delicious! If you gave me tea without sugar? Ewe. Horrid. Then for whatever reason, being a kid and all, I remember choosing to 'refine' my taste. Train my taste palate so that I could drink no sugar. I realized if I kept on drinking that much sugar with as much tea I drank, that I would acquire diabetes over time. And that made me change how I drink my tea. It tastes way better. You can actually taste what you're drinking...(I was a strange kid I guess, if that's what I thought about.)

I drink black coffee, lattes without flavor, tea without sweeteners, no sodas, hardly any juices, hot or cold water. But. I've always loved a good sweet thing, and so...time to train myself into another habit. Cutting out more sugars. All the things I love like pastry's, cookies, pasta...All not so good for me. And if in moderation, it's quite all right. Duh, I know. (I've never been into extremes.) But I tend to reach for those things before I ever reach for anything 'healthy'. So. I don't want to have to deal with problems I cause my own self. And I've been thinking about it for awhile. And the awareness, with reading just the first few chapters, already makes me put things into action!

It's Friday and I'm looking forward to my work day!

Thursday, January 5, 2012


How can anyone ever complain? We want to, for sure. And we sure do!
I've heard people complain about things and then time passes, and they do the same exact thing. Maybe just to another person. Maybe at the same exact time! Only when it's to do with oneself, it's for some reason more painful. For whatever reason, more important. And many times when the same person who's complained is doing the same exact thing to someone else, they hardly see it. It seems so just, and so reasonable to be the one 'hurt'.  So easy to be the 'victim'.

It goes for me as well.  I've noticed this too many times. I'll be hurt about how someone  'treats' me and want to pout and complain and tell how bad that person is. And if it's someone who's complained to me, and now is the one doing it, I want to be infuriated and just blurt out that, "you're doing what you don't like!"
And it hits me. I am doing that exact thing, but to another one. I do exactly that too!  How come it's OK for me to be treating someone that way, yet complain and rant about how I am being treated? If I were so perfect and someone was wronging me, then perhaps I'd have reason to complain. But if I am just as guilty, then what right do I have. Shouldn't I start with myself and fix what I do? It might be in another conversation, in another situation, in another place and time...But the truth is, it's exactly that which I complain about. Weather in my mind or outspoken.

Well, perhaps there are people who will complain for all time beings. And sadly, they may never see that they are as guilty as the ones they blame. Yes, it's not nice to be wronged, or mistreated, or anything else... There's no excuse for it. Or for that person. But, I believe it should always start with examining oneself. And many times, seeing that self being imperfect and faulty in those same manners will ease the complaining, and perhaps push to change or work on those same exact things we see in others! Look at ourselves as the wrong doers and fix it, before seeing everybody else's wrongdoings. It's not fun. But is certainly is true...

Whatever goes around, comes around...