Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Few From The Wedding

Here are some photos from our wedding in October. From different sources...Some more, later. 
Some on Instagram: #shpakwed

Oh, just a stop at a coffee shop... 

Absolutely love this photo! The colors, the flowers, the beautiful girls...and those big smiles!

My friends are amazing at what they do...everybody who did pretty much anything did such a wonderful job! And they were all people either Peter, or I, knew:) Pretty cool!

Personal touches...song from Father Shpak...

Little angel...came all the way from California!

Awe...my sweethearts.

A Few From The Honeymoon

 Maui Hawaii 2012
My Wonderful Husband 
3-D footprints

~Love Birds~
Like I said, just a few... *grin

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Chasing Wind

How is that we get caught up in making decisions to please others? Why do we compromise ourselves, our spouse, our family, perhaps what's better for us, and make a choice that would not necessarily be better for us, not necessarily make us happy, but make someone else happy, whom we try to please??

We try to make them happy only to realize that they are unhappy with us within the next moment, within the next choice we make. Or perhaps we make someone, who we look up to or think is important, pleased with us, but turn around to find the one next to them quite displeased. And so we go about running, chasing wind, as we try to make everyone happy, but ourselves, ending up exasperated and disappointed. We are afraid that they won't like us. That they will be disappointed in us, that they will disapprove or criticise. Perhaps talk behind our back.

 Fear of man. People pleasing. It never satisfies. You've made one happy only to see someone else raise an eyebrow. You've chosen one thing over another, only to make someone that doesn't even care, pleased with you. But you yourself aren't pleased with yourself. Of course if they praise you and you get compliments and lots of attention, perhaps maybe you'll think you made the right choice. Perhaps you'll think that's the way to go...

Why is it that we don't stand up for our choices? Even if someone disapproves. It's not possible to make everyone happy. It's not even our job to make everyone around us happy. Smiling. Liking us and our things and what we do. It's not about that. Yet, somehow, too many of us are caught in it, running around trying to please everyone. Perhaps because it's someone too close. A family member. A good friend. A husband or wife. It's harder of course.

Just thinking about questions people ask. And choices that come up in life. And the reasoning behind them. It's important to look at the root and core. Sometimes, I realize myself, that my logic and justification of what I am doing is for the wrong reason. Affected but what I think someone else will think. How they will look at me. And I have to step back and say, "no, I will not do it because of that."

Another Week

It's January. Another new year...Another week passes. And everyday this week, I've been thinking.
Why is it that every morning, I wake up and what do I check? 
My FB notifications. I open Instagram mindlessly. 
There's nothing really interesting nor new there. I just do it out of habit. 
I'll open my email on my phone, and check e-letters. Some singles newsletters I still get, some marriage newsletters for a better marriage. Daily devotions from different sites. I'll open other apps...

And then the Bible comes to mind. The bible app on my phone. The bible that sits on my bed stand or counter or couch. Wherever it is at the moment. How is it that I push it off to the side. I'll get to it...But let me do this one last thing...
Why is it that I will first pick up the christian nonfiction book, or the new book I'm really excited about that I just got, the marriage book we started with my husband, or something else, but put off the Bible as last choice. Why is that a week has passed and I choose to read first, things about the Bible, about Christian living, and anything else that truly is meaningless when it compares to God's word?

 For if I really want a good marriage, shouldn't I start with the Bible and prayer, and only then the newsletter? Shouldn't I start with the Bible, and then the Christian literature about the Bible? Because no book or email will help with anything like the Bible will. God's word is the key. Yet I choose the lesser first. 
Too many times, I get caught in that rut only to realize again and again that no newsletter, no self help, devotional, or greatest book on anything, will give me what I truly need. No Facebook or Instagram app, email, and anything else I mindlessly open deserves to be put above God's word. 
All those things are wonderful and I enjoy. But I've realized I've set the more important for last choice. 
It saddens me.

Burn Them All Down

Last Sunday there was a song we sang in service, with these lyrics:

Prophets proclaimed to our fathers long ago
To turn from your statues and your idols made of gold 
Rise from your knees, stop worshiping 
The splinters of broken gods, turn and see your King 

There is one God over all kings and rulers 
And He reigns alone 

Now we proclaim the same God, the same Word 
Who stood through the ages, Jesus Christ the Lord 

Rise from your knees, stop worshiping 
The splinters of broken gods, turn and see your King 

There is one God over all kings and rulers 
And he reigns alone 

Burn them all down, my God, my God 

There is one God over all kings and rulers 
And he reigns alone 

And the one God over all kings and rulers 
Will not share his throne
~One God by Ghost Ship

...Rise from your knees, stop worshipingThe splinters of broken gods, turn and see your King
There is one God over all kings and rulers
And he reigns alone

Burn them all down, my God, my God...

This line struck me. I kept thinking, do we realize what we are singing? Do we realize what we are asking? That as we sing, our words have so much power and we are asking God to do something. Some sincerely, some mindlessly. But the truth is, when God does take away those idols, we are in despair. When our idols are taken away, crushed, or disappoint...when they are burnt down, we are angry, and sometimes at God himself. But we forget we asked. We forgot we prayed. And God delivers. We just forget that we asked, and don't realize what are idols are, sometimes. So do we really want what we ask for? Do we even know what we idolize? Do we truly want what we idolize to be "burnt" down? Do we even realize what we sing, pray, and ask for? I wonder...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Twofold Affect

Coming back from a product knowledge class today, I thought about how wonderful it is being a hairdresser. I get to work on human beings and physically change the appearance of them! My work is visible and tangible.  And by changing what's on the outside, I am able to affect what is inside. It's incredible how much a change on the outside makes a difference on the inside. 
Because too many of us are affected by how we look. How our hair looks. What we wear. What others say about us and our 'look'. Too many of us depend on compliments to feel good about ourselves. Sometimes it can be a negative thing.

And sometimes, it's okay to change our appearance to make ourselves feel better. Even if helps just a bit. 
And there's nothing wrong with that.
A reminder for myself to voice my compliments. 
To express my gratitude.
To acknowledge another's beauty or talent. 
Not for flattery or for selfish gain. 
But with sincerity and heartfelt emotion.