Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Friday, October 17, 2014

A Good Find

It seems to me like there are a million things on my mind at once. I realize that most of them, sadly, are unimportant. They are things I don't need to, and probably shouldn't, think much about.


As I've mentioned in my last post, I've kind of been in the Christmas mood much earlier than usual this year. Partly, it is because of having a child and being much slower paced at things. Partly, because I like it.

Let me sidetrack here a bit. I wrote, 'like.' When really I normally use the word, 'Love.' Well, I'm just going to explain myself real quick. I know the difference between liking things and loving. I know what 'true' love is. I know that we love people. We don't love things. Or perhaps, shouldn't love things.
But I use the word love in place of like all the time. And I do it with this thought, each time. Knowing that it's probably the not the best way to describe my affection for something.
"I loooove my new book!"
So let's just know, that I know, and use the Love word to express my feelings for certain things and places and events. It's just a phrase. I don't really love paper. But I do appreciate it's texture, or the fine printing on the paper. Or paper pages. Or the craft or art put into creating something out of paper...Anyway...you get the point. That goes for all things I appreciate or admire...or like.


I was looking for some old classic books. For decorative purposes. For Christmas. And I was looking for cheap classic books. I can't believe that some of these 'antique' stores charge almost 40 dollars for a book they probably got for free somewhere. Anyway, the last stop had cheap classics and I  got some Christmas ones. Little did I know, that it would be the beginning of a reawakening for me!

Last night I started Little Women. It has been so long since I've read fiction or even a classic! It actually took me some time to decompress, let go of my daily thoughts and distractions, and get into the book. But oh, how lost have I become in the words. In the story. I'm going to admit, for anyone who's read the book, chapter six had me in tears!

How I've missed this feeling of forgetting the present world and living in a world of make-believe.
My current reading has been about babies. Baby food, baby growth...etc. Plants. Food. Recipes. House things. Articles and blog posts. Lots of skimming. Browsing. (honestly, waste of time.)  Non-fiction. Unfinished books. More browsing. But nothing that had me captivated for longer than, I don't even know! I'm going to blame the distraction of social media and fast paced internet. (all that falls under those categories.) Attention span is different now. Patience is...uhm...
"I want information. Now!" "This is too slow!" On and on...

So today, Friday, I'll admit that for every nap Jemma took, I was reading Little Woman. And it didn't bother me that I didn't fold the towels piled on the guest bed. Engrossed. Giggling. Crying. Texting my husband that I'm silly and I'm crying. Pausing and thinking, when did I stop reading like this? Why?

So. I love reading. I love books. Actual paper books. The turning of pages. The typed words. Vocabulary and grammar. (don't look for that here.) I love old books. In fact, this little copy I found had the sweetest Christmas note attached to it, from 1922. And I find these things fascinating.

I'm looking forward to reading more classics. And collecting more books.

And now, back to reading.

Friday, October 10, 2014


It's only October but guess what? Some of these early mornings, we got giddy feelings as if it's Christmas already, and so, turned on Christmas music!!! You say, but Halloween hasn't even passed!
What is Halloween?! 
Well, I'm kidding. I know what Halloween is but I go right past it to the, uhm, very early (verrrrrry early) Christmas sections. 
World Market, Costco, and IKEA, to name a few, have their Christmas inventory up! 
I'm conflicted about a tree this year. Of course we will have a tree, I just don't know if I want to go the easier way and get a faux Christmas tree. I never thought I'd even contemplate it but that was before I had a very curious baby, and had to deal with mini spiders on our unreachable ceilings. 
I'm sure we will go out and cut a tree because that is the fun part. I'm just wondering how many pine needles Jemma will consume, and how many times I will have to divert her path? But oh, how exciting it is because knowing her, she will be fascinated with it! 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ninja Spider

I don't get it. There's nothing there, and all of a sudden, it's there, sitting on the wall. Or ceiling.
How in the world does it get there, that phantom Spider?! Ugh. Are they like, ninja spiders?  I detest, really, detest them. 
So now that the rains have started and has gotten cooler, they are seeking in, into the warmth of the house. Let me tell you, I don't like spiders, nor do I like spider webs. And spiders getting into your house doesn't mean a dirty house. 

We all got a cold. So I've tried not to expose our sick child to other children. So of course, that means, I've been at home much more and have had, somewhat more, time to clean. And I am one to dust and wipe, and dust. More than usual. Because first, it's nice to have a clean home, and second, I don't like the sight of webs. Anywhere. 
It's too bad I can't get them all. Nor can I see them all. 

Anyway, the only reason I'm writing this is because as I was thinking that I can't believe September's already coming to an end and that Thanksgiving is coming up, and I was just going to get a head start and share what I'm thankful for. Except, I was a bit confused and forgot that October happens to follow September. How could I forget about such an important month? It's our anniversary month! But that's OK. I will still share what I am thankful for!

I am really thankful for my husband who comes to my rescue and kills the spiders. He is Sir Spider Killer! What usually happens is, I freak out inside, run to my husband, and he, taking me really seriously, saves me. Because I can't. Unless he is not home. Then if it's a small one, and after my goosebumps have subsided, I smash the thing. If it's a freaky one? Well then, that's another story...

Anyway, I'm thankful they show up only once in awhile, because I don't know how I would survive! 
So, I'm sorry, to the spiders, who are trying to survive this world. You're life is short lived in this house! I am not one to save and let out, outside. 

I am a professional spider spotter.

For those that don't know me too well, don't read this too seriously. 


I always get excited about this time of year. About this month. It's September. It's the time when it starts to feel like Fall. And I welcome Fall. The cool, brisk air in the mornings. The freshness... It's also my birthday month and usually, I 'celebrate' all month long with doing little things here and there to mark this occasion. So that it's memorable for me.

Peter has entertained my celebrating this week. Last night was really sweet. He had cleaned off the whole patio in the back, washed that whole side of the house, and had gotten goodies for a little evening celebration. It was a romantic and very nice ending to the day as we swayed, surrounded by lit candles, to Chris Botti under a big, round, bright moon...

I'll be turning 30 this year. C.S. Lewis has said, "Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." 
For me, I've felt like an adult for a very long time now. 

And Piper, in one of his podcast episodes said something with the phrase, "...the closer I get to death..." So many times I relate to older people even though in age, I am far from close to death. 


I started this a bit before I had actually turned thirty, but it's past my birthday now, and I'm finally getting to the end of it. Moment of inspiration, if by far gone...so, it is what it is...  

Plans had changed. I turned thirty. 
What a great way to start another decade! With a wonderful man at my side, and the most darling babe in our arms. And of course, sweets and coffee! 

Looking back at my twenties, I can only be grateful. And as I embark on these next years, I can say for certain, that life is wonderful, and that I look forward to what is to come. 


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Seasons In Our Life

Yesterday, nature said, it's Fall. 
With a gray day and rain all night, it certainly felt it. 
This morning, as my husband left to work, the early hours were still dark. I felt giddy in anticipation for this season and weather!  For the colder months and holidays to come!  The sky was gray and rainy which made the house glow inside from the lights that were on...
Last night I even asked my husband how did he want to celebrate Christmas?! I can't help it - there's a lot of good things starting in September...
We're starting this year with a few new and different things for us. We'll see how it goes. 
So here's to looking ahead and striving forward...

The 'farm' in our backyard neighbor's extended yard. I really enjoy watching the seasons of this piece of land. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Heart

I know I could have a lot of fun writing about places we've went, things we've done, what we've bought, what we wore, what we ate, and what we've made. But as I told a friend, I don't ever actually write what I truly wish to write. The things that might upset people, or perhaps because people assume, would take it the wrong way. Honestly, it's not by business to worry what anyone might think, I know... But...
I end up sharing with my husband. He's my audience most of the time for all my thoughts. For the things that infuriate me sometimes, for the things that break my heart...

Sometimes we say the wrong things.
Sometimes the things said, are taken the wrong way. 

How is it we have so many relations without having any relationships at all? A relationship status: member of a church to another member of the same church. Coworker to coworker. In-laws. Family members. Group members. 
We don't actually have that 'relationship' because it never gets past the small talk. (Personally, I don't like small talk. I would rather have a real conversation or silence. I'm okay with silence. One to one conversation, or even in a group setting, than have the same small talk over and over again. ) But really, that would mean you have to open up, to be more vulnerable, to show your true self more often. Maybe it would mean to ask questions about someone than talking about ourselves. Perhaps, to listen. And we try to put our best self forward...
How is it we see 'strangers' each week much more than any one family member? And sometimes, we like 'strangers' much more than anyone who is close because, of course, we don't actually know them! Why is it that we have tendencies to like those people we just met, or perhaps have a little chit chat once, and think how great that person is! But oh, spend some time with them and all of a sudden we think, never mind, I don't like their ideas, or their opinions... That means disagreements sometimes. Oh, and perhaps it means we're not always right!  We start to see the real, the human, those things we didn't see from a single 'put on conversation' and decide, we don't actually want to build anything more there. Because that would mean putting aside yourself sometimes, or giving way to other things, or actually working at that new relationship. Oh, but who wants to work?! So we keep people away, by keeping them at a distance, by keeping them a mere Facebook friend or Instagram follower. We like that one timer 'friends'. We don't actually want to see any of the dirt or real life... We want to like them, from a distance. We just want to like the strangers and those that are close are "always worse" than that person from a distance...who's fantastic. 
And so it is with the church that is not our own, and the family members in another family, and that other job... It must be much better. It probably doesn't have any problems. 

Why is it that we tend to put our own personal experiences, our views, our opinions and our way of seeing it onto others. We tend to assume. We get told, " I am doing this and made this choice..." And we instantly think, they are doing it because of... 
Why is it that we don't just ask. We don't let people finish speaking and clarifying. 

Let me tell you, to this day, I am working on not interrupting people. So I'm there too. 
But so many times, the things I say never get past the first statement without going a totally different direction because someone has already decided the reason for what I've said. 

Perhaps because we are selfish creatures. And it's always about us. And we're the only ones who are right. And our feelings are more important. 

I've been thinking. That whatever an issue, whatever the situation, a lot of times (that means, not always,) the issue is with our heart. We see what others do wrong but don't see our part in it. Everything is a two way...

But to admit that? That's too hard. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014


Our rhythm, our normal rituals and daily schedule, has been broken. And this week, it's all about getting back to normal.

We've had quite a busy time these last few weeks. (As if it's never busy.) But with sleep training, starting solids finally, getting a first major cold and fever, a week in Spokane and birthday event at the end of it all,  with more people to end a people-filled week, we are ready to relax and wind down and get back into routine. 

Sleep training: worth it when you see the results! As hard as it is for a bit, the pay off for all of us is gratifying. Longer naps and no more rocking for endless times and then running back and forth to soothe...so much more time.

We were excited for food. I've been holding off even if our baby has been wanting to for a while...but it's a full on go now. 

I thought it'd be nice to have everyone see Jemma in Spokane, but the truth is, it was such a hassle and I like to travel with Peter, so I will most likely not do that again. Three times more work for me, and at the end of it all, just would have rather stayed at home. But at least grandma and grandpa got a bit of time with her...she grinned her huge grin at everyone and made herself at home between the two houses we were at during the day...

It's true when people say, mother knows best. And in our case, daddy too, because he spends quite enough time with our little one to know her and her ways...
I love Peter, but I love him even more for the fact that he loves his daughter and spends time with her and takes part in taking care of her. And she just adores him! He was her motivation to push off on her fours, to crawl to him... She follows him with her eyes and can't wait to be in his arms! I tell her, daddy's home, at the sound of the garage door, and she turns her head to the door where he comes in...waiting...it makes me happy to see that face of contentment, that pleased look, as she's taken and cuddled.

So to finish off a very 'stressed' time, and to unwind and relax, we put her to sleep on Sunday night and watched a food movie. Nothing like a good food movie that makes you giggle and cry...and it's about food! Movies about food can't go wrong!

So now it's Tuesday, and I had a moment to sit and just think... The house is not quite as I like it.. Scattered a bit. Clean but scattered. But I am happy. I am at home. I get to see my husband when he comes home from work, we have all that we need, and our baby is just a joy. It's quiet and peaceful, I have a list of things to do but I know to pace myself... I have a piano to play to relax, (thanks to my dad for that- and more on that later,) and.. it's time to eat so off I go...

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Petit Famille

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
-George Bernard Shaw

I am so in love with my two darlings. 
My love, Peter, and our sweetest baby, Jemma.
At the end of it all, there is nothing better than being with them.


Monday, June 16, 2014

Celebrating My Husband

This past weekend was not only my husbands 33rd birthday, but also his first Father's Day! We had a little a party on Saturday. Not everybody could make it but we had fun with friends and family. I would go upstairs to feed Jemma or put her down for a nap, and hear the sounds of laughter coming from below making me smile. Love when the house is filled with people and laughter. The weather didn't quite permit us to celebrate at the park on the lake and play volleyball, but I feel like having it at the house was great anyway!

My sister is amazing. She came over from Spokane just to help. We didn't even get to hang out! She practically chopped and diced and mixed everything herself...and made the second dessert we had. Yummy!
Grandma Lyuda with baby Jemma.

After most everyone left, we went to quiet down for the evening...she was so cute and cozied up to me so close... That precious feeling of your baby wanting to be really close.

Cleaned up and ready for Sunday.
Father's Day. Peter is amazing. From helping and taking care of me and Jemma, to playing and making us laugh! I love seeing Jemma's face light up into a smile when he plays with her. He's all around a wonderful man! 
At the Shpaks.