Diary? Nothing that I wouldn't tell a client. Not everything that is written pertains to me or my life.
The things I see, hear...the people I talk to, all influence or impact my thoughts. Just saying!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ninja Spider

I don't get it. There's nothing there, and all of a sudden, it's there, sitting on the wall. Or ceiling.
How in the world does it get there, that phantom Spider?! Ugh. Are they like, ninja spiders?  I detest, really, detest them. 
So now that the rains have started and has gotten cooler, they are seeking in, into the warmth of the house. Let me tell you, I don't like spiders, nor do I like spider webs. And spiders getting into your house doesn't mean a dirty house. 

We all got a cold. So I've tried not to expose our sick child to other children. So of course, that means, I've been at home much more and have had, somewhat more, time to clean. And I am one to dust and wipe, and dust. More than usual. Because first, it's nice to have a clean home, and second, I don't like the sight of webs. Anywhere. 
It's too bad I can't get them all. Nor can I see them all. 

Anyway, the only reason I'm writing this is because as I was thinking that I can't believe September's already coming to an end and that Thanksgiving is coming up, and I was just going to get a head start and share what I'm thankful for. Except, I was a bit confused and forgot that October happens to follow September. How could I forget about such an important month? It's our anniversary month! But that's OK. I will still share what I am thankful for!

I am really thankful for my husband who comes to my rescue and kills the spiders. He is Sir Spider Killer! What usually happens is, I freak out inside, run to my husband, and he, taking me really seriously, saves me. Because I can't. Unless he is not home. Then if it's a small one, and after my goosebumps have subsided, I smash the thing. If it's a freaky one? Well then, that's another story...

Anyway, I'm thankful they show up only once in awhile, because I don't know how I would survive! 
So, I'm sorry, to the spiders, who are trying to survive this world. You're life is short lived in this house! I am not one to save and let out, outside. 

I am a professional spider spotter.

For those that don't know me too well, don't read this too seriously. 


I always get excited about this time of year. About this month. It's September. It's the time when it starts to feel like Fall. And I welcome Fall. The cool, brisk air in the mornings. The freshness... It's also my birthday month and usually, I 'celebrate' all month long with doing little things here and there to mark this occasion. So that it's memorable for me.

Peter has entertained my celebrating this week. Last night was really sweet. He had cleaned off the whole patio in the back, washed that whole side of the house, and had gotten goodies for a little evening celebration. It was a romantic and very nice ending to the day as we swayed, surrounded by lit candles, to Chris Botti under a big, round, bright moon...

I'll be turning 30 this year. C.S. Lewis has said, "Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." 
For me, I've felt like an adult for a very long time now. 

And Piper, in one of his podcast episodes said something with the phrase, "...the closer I get to death..." So many times I relate to older people even though in age, I am far from close to death. 


I started this a bit before I had actually turned thirty, but it's past my birthday now, and I'm finally getting to the end of it. Moment of inspiration, if by far gone...so, it is what it is...  

Plans had changed. I turned thirty. 
What a great way to start another decade! With a wonderful man at my side, and the most darling babe in our arms. And of course, sweets and coffee! 

Looking back at my twenties, I can only be grateful. And as I embark on these next years, I can say for certain, that life is wonderful, and that I look forward to what is to come. 


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Seasons In Our Life

Yesterday, nature said, it's Fall. 
With a gray day and rain all night, it certainly felt it. 
This morning, as my husband left to work, the early hours were still dark. I felt giddy in anticipation for this season and weather!  For the colder months and holidays to come!  The sky was gray and rainy which made the house glow inside from the lights that were on...
Last night I even asked my husband how did he want to celebrate Christmas?! I can't help it - there's a lot of good things starting in September...
We're starting this year with a few new and different things for us. We'll see how it goes. 
So here's to looking ahead and striving forward...

The 'farm' in our backyard neighbor's extended yard. I really enjoy watching the seasons of this piece of land. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Heart

I know I could have a lot of fun writing about places we've went, things we've done, what we've bought, what we wore, what we ate, and what we've made. But as I told a friend, I don't ever actually write what I truly wish to write. The things that might upset people, or perhaps because people assume, would take it the wrong way. Honestly, it's not by business to worry what anyone might think, I know... But...
I end up sharing with my husband. He's my audience most of the time for all my thoughts. For the things that infuriate me sometimes, for the things that break my heart...

Sometimes we say the wrong things.
Sometimes the things said, are taken the wrong way. 

How is it we have so many relations without having any relationships at all? A relationship status: member of a church to another member of the same church. Coworker to coworker. In-laws. Family members. Group members. 
We don't actually have that 'relationship' because it never gets past the small talk. (Personally, I don't like small talk. I would rather have a real conversation or silence. I'm okay with silence. One to one conversation, or even in a group setting, than have the same small talk over and over again. ) But really, that would mean you have to open up, to be more vulnerable, to show your true self more often. Maybe it would mean to ask questions about someone than talking about ourselves. Perhaps, to listen. And we try to put our best self forward...
How is it we see 'strangers' each week much more than any one family member? And sometimes, we like 'strangers' much more than anyone who is close because, of course, we don't actually know them! Why is it that we have tendencies to like those people we just met, or perhaps have a little chit chat once, and think how great that person is! But oh, spend some time with them and all of a sudden we think, never mind, I don't like their ideas, or their opinions... That means disagreements sometimes. Oh, and perhaps it means we're not always right!  We start to see the real, the human, those things we didn't see from a single 'put on conversation' and decide, we don't actually want to build anything more there. Because that would mean putting aside yourself sometimes, or giving way to other things, or actually working at that new relationship. Oh, but who wants to work?! So we keep people away, by keeping them at a distance, by keeping them a mere Facebook friend or Instagram follower. We like that one timer 'friends'. We don't actually want to see any of the dirt or real life... We want to like them, from a distance. We just want to like the strangers and those that are close are "always worse" than that person from a distance...who's fantastic. 
And so it is with the church that is not our own, and the family members in another family, and that other job... It must be much better. It probably doesn't have any problems. 

Why is it that we tend to put our own personal experiences, our views, our opinions and our way of seeing it onto others. We tend to assume. We get told, " I am doing this and made this choice..." And we instantly think, they are doing it because of... 
Why is it that we don't just ask. We don't let people finish speaking and clarifying. 

Let me tell you, to this day, I am working on not interrupting people. So I'm there too. 
But so many times, the things I say never get past the first statement without going a totally different direction because someone has already decided the reason for what I've said. 

Perhaps because we are selfish creatures. And it's always about us. And we're the only ones who are right. And our feelings are more important. 

I've been thinking. That whatever an issue, whatever the situation, a lot of times (that means, not always,) the issue is with our heart. We see what others do wrong but don't see our part in it. Everything is a two way...

But to admit that? That's too hard.